Confusion!!!

i duno.... der's js so much hpg arnd!!!!
so much confusion...i cn not get out!
al these words r noise to my ears...
shud i embrace or run away frm my fears???
shud i stil be here?? or shud i leave??
shud i wait to create history?
so many thots r waitin fer their turn....
twice shy bt nevr does one learn!!
y is der dis commotion out here???
wt is d reasn? wen wud it b clear???
so many questns n followed by more!!
dey dnt hv answers....tat i need to knw!
or so i think as i dnt wan2 confront!
dey wud hit me sharp...with edges blunt!
i shal sort dis out or so i console my soul!
nt die of wondering vainly...as my feelings get cold!

XY=XX ??

equality............
women alwys want to equal men dey say....!!!
i think its super bull shit! its men who r so very insecure of their existence on dis earth tat dey created d term...."equality fer women"
luk arnd u....
yer in a queue..... a girl smiles n asks if she cud jump d queue n buy a ticket... wel.. she gets her way!! a guy does tat..... u tel him" chal line mein khada reh" ( go stand in d line)
its so easy fer a girl to get any guy she wud want!!! she wudn hv2 take him out fer a coffee.... talk abt things he likes n d jazz..... all she has to do is let him knw tat she's interestd.. n leav d rest to him!!!
wel... dis ones d best...... as v observe..... n knw.... men r more sexually chargd mentally n physicaly too.... n hv thes dreams to do 2 women @ d same time n all tat.... wel.. my quesnt is hw??? a man needs time betn 2 ejaculations.... n no woman wud want to wait up totaly aroused n let one go 1st n wait fer her turn!!!
N HE WANTS TO DO 2 WOMEN??
a woman on d other hand can hv mutiple orgasms!!! so wel... she cud make it fun with half a dozen guys at one go witout makin any1 wait....or hv al d fun she needs wit one guy as long as he can go on ;) !!!
so... who's tryin to equal who here nw???
u see... men hav a huge ego...... n its hurt cz women r more sexually capable n compatible(with more dan one male) dan dem!!
so d fight is nt abt women wanting to equal men.. bt vice versa!!!
men... get a life.... n get ovr our multiple orgasms n charm n evrythn v can use to get our way!!!
its nt tat i hate u guys..... i love dem all!!
men r gud fun species as long as they r comfortable in their own skin.. witout any securties!!
GOD BLESS MANKIND! (and our multiple orgasms!!)

P.S: LOVE U ALL XYs! XOXO

??

dis ws js smthn i wrote out of my imaginatn! (thankfully!!!)


I was all alone...
had no1 arnd!
Feelin a lil horny...
checkin if evrythn was safe n sound!
Wantd to get a guy...
wantd sum1 to surround!
So thot of getin d perfect guy...
frm d back-door to d underground!
Sometimes its fun with no bed n pillows,
the foreplay n den d action follows!
I called him in & served him beer.
Robust n kinky...
promised to tire severe.
He got me undress...... & kissed me till we had to rest.
Our bodies drenched then...
a lil bit dry & quite a lot wet.
We lay on grandpa's old table,
huge enough for both of us.
I was enjoying every bit of it..
mostly more...nevertheless!!
He teased me heavenly, till i screamed & cried!
But suddenly, he seemed to stop the reply.
We were off with the foreplay
n sex seemd to follow.
But he got dressed & left through the door.
What was wrong with him?
or was something wrong with me??
Clueless with what was happening...
This future i did not see....
He hushly spoke then... no man he was enough!
He wanted to taste a woman just!
Taste her lips n drive her to his passionate lust!
He'd never kissed a woman til then or ever got one laid!
He looked in my eyes n softly said, "Oh! Darlin' i m gay!"

D Cliche'd Word...LOVE!

Love, a beautiful feeling.
Well essentially more than a feeling. Something you’ll always want to treasure in your heart. Something beyond words, something out of the world, something so real that it makes life seem like a dream.
A gesture to show how much you need some one in your life, not for any particular reason but…just to feel that someone’s presence. A forbidden fruit in a way! A shoulder to cry on, a laugh to share with, a smile to be given, a kiss to be cherished. The presence of that some one in your life changes everything…. everything from the way you talk, you walk, you smile; you shy away, your wardrobe, even the way you think and look at life.
Everything is…well not particularly pink but well, peach! Yea I like that color. Pleasant and nice. You know there’s always who’ll agree with you even if they don’t inside, someone who’ll always call you beautiful even after a hard exhausting day with no makeup n hair ruffled like a hurricane hit you, someone who’ll always think you have the freshest of breaths and dare to kiss you the first thing in the morning even after you puked last night being drunk! Someone who’ll clean you up and your puke too. Someone who’ll cuddle up n sleep, someone who’ll be your enduring heater to heat you up in al means in the nippy winters or even during the movies with the unpleasant cold theatres. Someone you know is forever there by your side. Some one you’re secure about in a way but in a way not!
Love…Love is a lesson. To learn! And being taught… almost virtually!
You learn about living life in an optimistic, harmonious way! Unexpectedly the entire crisis ends, all the people are forgiven, all the people have the bliss of watching you smile…always! Love surely does wonders to one’s complete life! All the things you ever saw in mush movies, read in romantic novels and heard from all those quixotic couples, suddenly start making sense! All this while as you thought these people were major dumb fools or probably stoned or something to believe in like"shit" this.…but nope they were correct about every single word.... or so u think or like to believe!!! And yes, now that you go talking about it, other people think likewise abt u!!! But u couldn’t care less!
And then one day…the person goes away… Not coz he wanted to…not coz you wanted to but.…circumstances differ!! But what’s important in the end is that there arent any hard feelings…. what was cherished, is still cherished n would be.
You are still very much in love...... hoping..... times change..... but people don’t. love doesnt leave bitter memories about "being in love".
As is rightly said “It’s better to be in love once. Than never at all” Coz as I said before…love is a beautiful feeling.

P.S: M NT NURSING A BROKEN HEART!!

So Long.....

So long one waited,
So long one cried,
If only you were there..... to wipe that tear off my eye.

So long one dreamt,
So long one hoped,
If only you could realise & be a little less self soaked.

So long one expected,
So long one accepted,
The truth & the lies & everything between the folds.

So long one lives on,
So lone one still dies,
If only you knew what am living inside......
The same coin with two different sides!

So long one suffers,
So long one still enjoys,
What’s the difference when,
The one wiping your tears is the one who makes you cry.

So long one stil waits..................
So long one still hopes...............
Hopelessly in love still, so long one goes!!!

Orgasm Redefined!

My 15year old sister, Siddhi was going through the latest issue of Cosmo, and came across the "O" word. Orgasm!
With mush enthusiasm she asked me,"Tai, What is an orgasm? How can you feel it? How does it feel like? Shooting questions back to back, it took time for me to first hear n comprehend what she was saying and then to get back to my senses to answer her queries. Well, a little diplomatically though.
With sex education classes in almost every school n college on full spree, she definitely knew how one could achieve the big 'O'! But maybe, she wanted to hear it out from me n see how much I knew (the hunky dory details i guess!) or mayb just watch me go red.
With so many thoughts in my head, I watched her pupils dilate with curiosity and the wicked smirk on her face. Siddhi shook me and got me out of my thought world. "Tai tell me…how does it feel like?" I asked myself, how does it feel like exactly? (Even if I did, it wasnt for her to know.) I answered," I don't know!" with a straight face and got annoyed. "How m I supposed to know? Go ask mom." I should have been helpful and nice to her but the question kept me thinking for no reason what so ever. I remember mom telling me once, "It's like a sense u cannot describe. You cannot explain the taste of a mango; you yourself have to taste it to know it, to relish it! Its this spur of moment where all the senses of the body are diminished. It's a divine feeling….close to God while you're living. Your brain activity is nil for that time which never happens in a human body" Mom being a doctor got into the technicalities of it but only then a mother softly spoke, "Samu, but most importantly, it's a sacred union of a male and a female. Its the act of love and sharing love between them." Feeling a bit awkward now, I faked a thirst attack and put an end to the conversation.
So, it's a feeling I thought…..a divine one at that!! My brain was working over time over the subject when I just realised I had to meet up Akhil at the movies by 5.45. It was already 5…..Akhil being the punctual kinds; it was hard keeping up to "His Time". Getting ready in a jiffy, I rushed to the theatre, praying he gets late. And there I was waiting, with no trace of him around. I am on time for a change and ready to give him a taste of "his" punctuality. But it'd been quite some time since I was standing, thinking...... Maybe he was late on purpose, may be he wanted me to go through the utter joy of boredom waiting for someone endlessly......Just the way I make him….all the time. I was fuming with those thoughts frying my brain, when a small boy with torn clothes managed to grab my attention. There were other beggar children around too, some rejoicing over the amount of money they'd collected, some pestering the people waiting outside the theatre and some plainly being children, playing and fooling around. This particular child was no different but he did seem one. He had this awfully miserable look on his face unlike others. He looked sick. He had yellow eyes, even his skin and nails were yellow…he looked pale. Terribly Jaundicised! He approached me and asked for some money. I stood there staring at him. Pitying him and questioning the law of nature. What had this 10-12year old ever done to anyone that he has to go through all this? And Zap came an answer from within "Everyone is not as lucky as you Samu! Cherish it!" The boy asked for money again, forcing me out of my thought world. I got on my knees and told him, "I won't give you any money but u look sick. I'll take you to the hospital and pay for your treatment. Will buy you food and admit you to a school, take care of the fees too. I promise you I could do that if you trust me." He looked at me with an array of expressions. And I always thought I was 'The Confused One' all the time. I guess he was apprehensive about trusting a stranger. I asked him again. He stared back and shook his head. He said he can't trust an outsider. He can't trust anyone around him. Not even his parents. His eyes were moist when he was telling me that his friends had fallen prey to such temptations, rather requirements and he never got to see them again. Of what he'd heard, some of them were sold overseas to perverts while some are being sexually exploited in the country itself. There was nothing he could do to help them but he didn't want to be one of them. He said he didn't know if I was among the good people or bad but he preferred living his life his way…even if it meant dying hungry on the streets.
That moment I felt helpless. Helpless towards myself, helpless towards the pathetic state of some people who spoil the whole society, helpless for the little jaundicised boy, whose name I didn't know but felt for him nothing less than a brother. This time I was not only confused but was raging with anger ….why do some people kill humanity off from other people's heart?
I saw the boy walking away from me, looking at me mysteriously. I had mellowed but was also satisfied that I'd asked to help him. Something inside told me that I was not going to give up and this was just the beginning. Beginning of something…..I can't explain…..!! Something…..Phenomenal!! I felt good about what I did. My conscience patted my back and wished if only 5 of every 10 people out there could embrace the negativity around with open arms and kill it. Suddenly, the word orgasm struck me. It's a divine feeling. Feeling of a sacred union, in my case of me with my inner self. And sharing love........with humanity. Maybe I did have my first tiny little orgasm. And while I was just moving onto winning the crown and being titled in my thought world, someone called out, "Samu…."I turned around flashing my pearls and embraced him (for the moment) with open arms. Thanking him for being late and for my little orgasm.

YOU ?!?!

Life has a meaning.
It sure does…. only cuz you don’t see what lies behindclosed doors or cant read between lines doesn’t mean there’s nothing to it. Some out there know what I m talking about and those who don’t….don’t botheryourself. You’re stuck in a rut and don’t have the will to visualize the future or analyze the present.
Sometimes, as you’re just lying watching the mosaic of water soaked paint on the ceiling or plainly chilling sipping some chilled beer, you realize your mind’s capacity. As in suddenly you’d want to reach out to new levels or various aspects of life and conquer the world. Shout out to the world you’re the best and prove it to everyone. Some go ahead and make a move…some just wait to finish the can and move on for the next.
And sometimes again you find yourself in the same situation…. chilling and lazing........ and your mind’s as stagnant as still water. It just refuses to move its butt. Its like you’re alive when you’re not and no one else knows it except you. Some go ahead and tell the world they’re dead, convincing everyone how dead one can get………….while the others just enjoy. Enjoy feeling dead. You don’t have to answer anyone or give an explanation. It’s like living like “The DEAD”. There’re two sides to oneself, two sides to life, two sides to observing and two sides to concluding. The world would claim they know you and couldn’t care less.
Sometimes you surprise yourself. The one hidden inside crops out and you wonder if its really you. Do you know yourself or you’re just waiting to be explored. Not by anyone else but YOU. Being with oneself can not only do wonders for others but yourself too.It’s an unknown feeling, a trip, the love for someone inside you wanting to come out but never does.
Reconnection with someone you know but never been with. It’s a beauty. Mind you, narcissism is not what m dealing with here but jus interacting with myself in a different way.....sometimes...if not everyday!!